Sleep: No hope for new parents

So, you're expecting a baby, huh? I bet you've also heard horror stories about how you'll never sleep again. Don't worry, they're all true.

Coffee is the new sleep

Your new BFF

If your baby isn't here yet, go ahead and start brewing that coffee in advance. Go download our Coffee Affirmations Printable and stick it on your fridge in anticipation of sleepless nights to come. It takes about 5 cups to feel like a human, but you'll get there eventually. Probably next week even! Don't like coffee? Of course you do! REALLY don't like coffee? Oh...well there's a Southern expression for that: Bless your heart. Bless your little pea-pickin' heart.

There no such thing as nighttime parenting: only survival.

What your baby expects

You might have come across the phrase nighttime parenting in your internet searching exploits. That's a fancy term for "the parent who has to leave the security and delicious warmth of their bed to attend to the needs of the screaming, hungry, pooping one." Here's the kicker: your baby isn't hungry, poopy, or tired. He's just bored. It's party o'clock and young sir is displeased with your lack of effort. He'll go back to sleep around 7am, once sufficient partying has occurred.

Baby monitors exist to destroy what little chance of sleep you had.

Sleep deprivation devices

What was that noise? Was that the baby? Did she just move?! WHAT DOES THAT GRUNT MEAN?! DID SHE GRUNT IN HER SLEEP?! WHY DO THEY MAKE THAT NOISE ANYWAY?! NOBODY TOLD ME ABOUT THIS!!! You get up to check on her, and she is indeed still sleeping. That grunt was to make sure you remembered to program your coffee pot. You're going to need it in the morning. What a nice, thoughtful baby, reminding you of things in your sleep!

It's all worth it, they say. You'll forget this in a few years, they say. Look at how sweet they are when they sleep, they say. They can't help it. They don't remember correctly. It's the Coffee of Newborns Past talking.

Hope you're not feeling too hopeless about the no sleep thing, because...


Doulas of Memphis is in the business of making sure new parents get the sleep they need. Our overnight postpartum doulas will help you feel rested, ready to take on the day, and even bring you that first cup of coffee (you'll only need 2 now).

If you're a new parent in the trenches or are pregnant and anticipating your little one's arrival, we're here to tell you not to worry. We won't tell you it's always easy or that you'll ALWAYS get the sleep you need, but it is worth it. Your baby will sleep eventually, and in the meantime our postpartum doulas are available 24/7 to help you get the sleep you need, whether it's a nap in the daytime or a full night of sleep. If you are breastfeeding, we support breastfeeding AND healthy sleep by bringing your baby to you so that you can nurse and get right back to dreamland. You can rest assured knowing that your baby is in good hands and so are you!

To learn more about how our postpartum doulas can help with sleep, click here, fill out our contact form, or give us a call at (901) 308-4888!